it's not over

with love, roxanne.

senior year puts a massive load of mental pressure on me.
but if i wanna do something, i can
right? :D

with love, roxanne.

is the spoilt brat syndrome contagious? cos taking care of two has been making me complain like one too. ugh. :/

with love, roxanne.

seriously, there's no better time to stop and think than when insomnia kicks in. i've done everything i possibly could in the confinement of my not-so-interesting bedroom. finally cleaned my room, tried on clothes i haven't worn in ages, read Martin Luther King Jr.'s autobiography (till i got bored, which was like 5 pages into it), re-watched gossip girl, and now - blog. i think i haven't blatantly blogged about my mundane life in years, literally. seriously, i wish summer could be over sooner. then i'd get on with senior year and hopefully finish it in peace. point being, i wanna go back to Singapore as soon as possible. summer internship's a bore, especially since i'm not working at a hospital or any kind of community service facility. i'd be lying if i said i wasn't nervous about senior year. and i'd be lying if i said i'm not stressing out over summer homework that i'm not doing anything about. i keep telling myself over and over again that i need to stop being such a sloth and start working. my life depends on the exam i'll be taking in less than a year's time. that scares me, a lot. then the thought that i'd be 18 in a few months time isn't settling in as well. since i've always thought turning 18 would mean finally being an adult. when in fact, it really doesn't feel that different. guess that's when the old cliche kicks in - age is just a number. in case you're wondering, yeah i'm aware that i'm rambling on and on like a brainless 16 year old bimbo. try sleepless nights complete with boring and exhausting work day after day. you might be just as stupified as i am right now. so before i embarrass myself any further, goodbye.

with love, roxanne.

baby, i know i've said so many things that i didn't mean,
so many things that hurt.
and i'm sorry.
but for the first time ever, i've sensed fear.
fear for losing the one person i truly love.
and for the first time in my life,
i let someone be the most important thing in my life - you.
i know i've never been good with expressing myself,
and i probably never will be.
but one thing's for sure, i never, ever want to leave you.
i know it's difficult, dealing with someone as unpredictable as me.
so if you happen to be exhausted one day, let me know.
i'd understand, and let you go.
but if this means as much to you as it does to me,
then please know that nothing, not even distance and time,
can ever break us apart.
i wanna believe that this is real,
that we're truly in love and that this isn't some prolonged infatuation with each other.
but somewhere along the way,
i lost faith.
that was long before i found you.
long before i knew someone could love me for who i really am,
and not the facade that i put on every single day.
honestly, i've never been loved by someone the way that you love me.
and likewise, i've never loved someone the way that i love you.
trust me when i say that in my eyes, you're the best guy a girl can ever have.
and you know what,
i don't ever wanna let you go.

with love, roxanne.

i love you <3

with love, roxanne.

one year till the end of IBDP,

one year till we're done with high school,

one year till we receive the freedom that we've longed for,

one year till we grow up for real,

one year till we leave our friends,

one year till we leave our family,

and one year till i leave you.

one year can be so long yet so short at the same time. nobody has the right to tell us what we should or shouldn't do, where to go and who to part with. but what causes these things to happen? and then it struck me - time. time leads us through our lives, whether we like it or not. it just so happens to be one of those things that we can't control, no matter how hard we try. but what we can control, is how we use the time that we have. we can choose to use it either being alive or actually living life.

don't look back and regret what you have not done. at least i know i won't. :D

with love, roxanne.

你。。什么时候变成了我最熟悉的陌生人？

with love, roxanne.

i want him so badlyyyyy :D

(random dog)

with love, roxanne.

what if i love you enough to go the extra mile?
sometimes i wonder how we even got to where we are.
in your arms, i know that it's where i belong.
every night, i lie awake thinking how lucky i am to be with you,
how happy you make me and how right it feels being by your side.
every look, every touch and every kiss,
makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.
and that's when i finally realised,
my heart - is right where you are.

with love, roxanne.